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Jelly Beans and Baccarat

We’ve all done some pretty stupid things when we were kids. But is a 23-year-old woman still a kid? Kooky Girl was working in the gift department of a Saks Fifth Avenue in the affluent Chicago suburb where she was raised when a male friend came in to visit. What […]

Attack Dogs

On July 2 I was attacked by Boy Toy and Kooky Girl. On July 26, she was found guilty of battery against me. Boy Toy was never charged with a crime. I was stopped at a light in town and glanced over to see Boy Toy in his SUV (SUV…that’s […]

The Sugar Daddy

Must be nice to have a “Sugar Daddy.” She breaks the law (repeatedly) and he pays the bill.  Here he is paying for her most recent transgression,  driving on a suspended license owing to a previous DUI: QUESTION:  Why do men stay with women who use/abuse them? I’ll tell you […]

Dirty Little Secrets

I care about him. No, I don’t love him, don’t want him back, don’t want to fuck him, don’t particularly want to ever see him again. But something inside — maybe the on-and-off relationship we’ve had with each other since 2002, its meaning and longevity — still makes me care […]

Redemption: Earned or Given?

Yesterday was Easter Sunday which got me to thinking about rebirth and redemption. Is redemption (and forgiveness) earned or freely given? How many chances does one get in life to ride the straight and narrow path of “right” or, if one continually is in the “wrong,” do they get a […]

Their Fucking House

The day after Thanksgiving I was besieged by texts from Boy Toy’s kooky girlfriend. I honestly don’t know what set the kook off. This one just begged for a response, so I seized the opportunity to describe in great detail the bedroom — their bedroom — in which I fucked her […]

Sex, Lies and Videotape

It is November 2006. Halfway through one of our many libidinous iterations. His then-girlfriend/housemate is out-of-town on business, so he invites me to have a Fuck Fest with him in his heated garage on one of his wave runners that has been put away for the winter. I think: This […]

BALLS!

It happened a couple of years ago, a crisp autumn day as I recall. We both played hooky from work and took advantage of “Free Admission Day” at Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry (MSI). Seemed like a good opportunity to interject some much-lacking culture into our relationship. (I don’t […]

Find A Gym! PRONTO!

She calls me “ugly/whore/cunt” on her social media and in texts to me. So this post is expressly for her: My husband said you were “fat” but geez, Pudge, you are the walking definition of “Wide Load!” Quit blaming your thyroid, get to a gym, and DO SOME REAL WORK […]

The Vacation From Hell

A year ago this week, he and I were vacationing together in Puerto Rico. He told his girlfriend he was on a guys’ golf getaway; I told my spouse I was traveling alone. It still drives her batshit loony to this day that he — who had just started dating […]

The Ambush

Just after Thanksgiving, as the world was slipping into the season of giving, my ex-boyfriend and his current gal pal decided they would give my husband a “present:” they would try to break up my marriage by telling him about our affair. Except he left her to do the dirty work, lingering […]

Garbage In. Garbage Out.

He never quite “got it,” that being another man’s wife meant I couldn’t bring home those over-the-top sentimental cards, letters, bouquets of flowers, small gifts and trinkets he’d give me during our libidinous get-togethers. I thanked him for all the gestures knowing deep down their lifespan was measured.   Being […]

The Lawless Loser

The above is but one of several text messages she’s sent me calling me a “loser.” WHO CARES? Remember that old adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me?” Her words (and actions) bounce right off me without effect.  But let’s examine who the […]

Square Peg, Round Hole

Dear Ex-Lover: You can’t force compatibility. In all our iterations, we ignored the fact that we simply aren’t right for each other. All we have in common is an obsession with hot sex (preferably with one another). In all other ways we are fundamentally different, and for years I turned […]

Nice Try

Instead of inciting an argument or tearing into our marriage, Steve and I enjoyed a pleasant dinner out during which he told me he found Karin to be “quite disturbed.” Nice try, but our marriage is ROCK SOLID.

Of Plates And Pebbles

When B. separated from his wife in August 2009 he quickly found and furnished a rental house to live in with two of their four kids who had not yet flown the coop. I lent him all sorts of household items including a set of white Cuisinart plates and serving […]

Booking It!

The Exit 4A book is finished and is now in its first round of edits with my publisher. It’s an exciting time! Exit 4A is a thinly fictionalized account of my 26-year (off-and-on) affair with a rich narcissist. I say “thinly fictionalized” because I know B., his ex-wife, his nutty children, […]

Unfathomable.

Two years past our break-up, I still don’t get it. Who sends a steak back to a restaurant’s kitchen hoping it returns overdone? Who kicks Charlize Theron out of bed? Who sells a Picasso because it didn’t quite match the living room sofa? You’d have to be insane, really. So B. […]

Two.

Today is January 2. And 2 is on my mind. It’s been quite a while since I posted anything substantial on this blog, and with good reason: my literary energy has been spent writing sample chapters of the “Exit 4A” book for my agent and for prospective publishers. My agent […]

Your Anniversary Present

October 11, 2015. It’s been two years since we broke up on a chilly Friday at your SW Michigan cabin. You kissed me off with the infamous line: “You are such a good girl. You will always be special to me.”  I haven’t contributed to this blog for many months, busying […]

Irreconcilable Differences

After 38 years of marriage, 4 children, a 5-year separation, and 17 months of bitter legal wrangling, my ex-lover’s divorce went through on July 8. Yes, B. is now a free man. As Illinois is a “no fault divorce” state, the reason given for the dissolution of marriage was “Irreconcilable […]