I read somewhere it’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and maybe I should have my head examined.
I’m spending Memorial Day weekend near Three Oaks, Michigan, where B. makes his home. Spending the long holiday weekend with my husband in the land of my ex-lover. We’ve rented a beautiful cottage less than a mile from Lake Michigan, just off a pretty public beach where B. took me a few times (along with those damned dogs I’d written about earlier) .
Were I to drive on the same road 4.4 miles east of where I’m staying, I’d end up in his driveway. What do you think: too close for comfort?
(By the way, the name of my blog is derived from the exit one takes off I-94 to head to Three Oaks.)
So here’s the thing: hubby and I sorely need a break, we haven’t had a vacation alone since 2010, and we have re-kindled our marriage. Time away from the stressors of everyday life seems like a good Rx. Southwest Michigan is a mere 90-minute drive from our home, and I know the area well from being with B.: the quaint towns, interesting shops, friendly restaurants, the local arts scene. I very much like the area, so why not vacation there?
But am I tempting Fate? I pretty much know B.’s M.O. and the places he frequents, so I will do just the opposite. After our October 2013 breakup which took place in his Three Oaks house (an irrevocable split), I NEVER want to see him again. Ever. And WHAT IF I were to run into him over the holiday weekend? He’d see a much slimmer, merrier, differently coiffed and tanned lady wearing a fabulous new outfit. (Anything I wore with, or for, B. was summarily dismissed to a consignment store, never to be seen again. That’s just how I roll.) PLUS I’ll be in the happy company of my husband of 25 years. We do get on so well…
It’s Memorial Day weekend, and vacationing on “his” side of the lake, almost in his neighborhood, will surely bring back memories of our long affair. But I’m in search of a different kind of parade. I’m looking for the drum major to lead the memories of B. loudly and soundly out of my head forever.
Happy holiday, gang! Be safe and play nice with each other!
A former mistress (26 years, on-and-off) describes the good, the bad, and the ugly of her long-term affair. Conclusion: Affairs aren't necessarily destructive if kept in the correct perspective. Our experience enhanced BOTH our marriages.
That is, until his marriage ended and we began to love each other. When the affair morphed into a relationship, well, that's when it stopped being fun for me.
For 26 yrs we luxuriated in implicit Trust. When B. cheated on ME, it was the first time another person came into our relationship besides our respective spouses.
We have now irrevocably split.