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Dont Let Desperation Cause You to Overlook the Red Flags

Now my long affair with B. is starting to make oh-so-perfect sense. Our court hearing re: his allegations of harassment is on Monday.

After Narcissistic Abuse

No one ever gave us the piece of advice that would help us AVOID getting destroyed by a narcissist; so Ill give some here: EXAMINE YOUR BELIEFS.

Words like, “He’s a jerk. She’s a manipulator. He’s just an ‘ahole'” DONT WORK. They try to let us know that people that don’t respect us shouldn’t be given a place to roam free in our lives, minds and hearts, but they don’t really HELP us avoid narcissists or leave one, once we realize they’re no good for us.

We need to reach people that are clearly ample targets for narcissists and inform them how to dig through the overtly flattering, flowery, charming, sharmy, tactics that a narcissist uses to ingratiate themselves into our healthy, happy lives before they leave us a hollow empty shadow of our former selves.

When people are being targeted, they initially are NOT feeling weary or concerned by…

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Exit 4A

A former mistress (26 years, on-and-off) describes the good, the bad, and the ugly of her long-term affair. Conclusion: Affairs aren't necessarily destructive if kept in the correct perspective. Our experience enhanced BOTH our marriages.

That is, until his marriage ended and we began to love each other. When the affair morphed into a relationship, well, that's when it stopped being fun for me.

For 26 yrs we luxuriated in implicit Trust. When B. cheated on ME, it was the first time another person came into our relationship besides our respective spouses.

We have now irrevocably split.

2 replies

    1. Howdy. Yes, hearing in Court in MI (where HE lives) Mon. afternoon. B. is still claiming — this is the 2nd hearing on this topic — I am harassing him through blog (which he now can’t see/read anymore). He alleges I violated his PPO, I HAVE NOT. Should be a slam-dunk “Case Dismissed.” Judge previously refused to consider my blog in the 1st proceedings, we expect him to uphold that again on Mon.

      Ramifications for not appearing? Bench warrant for my arrest (alas, I live in another state, 100 mi. away from the Ex). Not going to happen says my husband and co-counsel. I have a therapist’s note “excusing” me from appearing; judges rarely overrule MD opinions. Judge is going to rule on that very topic today [Fri]. Then I may actually HAVE to appear and face cross-examination from B. who is serving as his own legal counsel.

      Sorry to be so wordy, but I’m not posting on my blog until after the hearing on Monday (on the advice of counsel).

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