Now my long affair with B. is starting to make oh-so-perfect sense. Our court hearing re: his allegations of harassment is on Monday.
No one ever gave us the piece of advice that would help us AVOID getting destroyed by a narcissist; so Ill give some here: EXAMINE YOUR BELIEFS.
Words like, “He’s a jerk. She’s a manipulator. He’s just an ‘ahole'” DONT WORK. They try to let us know that people that don’t respect us shouldn’t be given a place to roam free in our lives, minds and hearts, but they don’t really HELP us avoid narcissists or leave one, once we realize they’re no good for us.
We need to reach people that are clearly ample targets for narcissists and inform them how to dig through the overtly flattering, flowery, charming, sharmy, tactics that a narcissist uses to ingratiate themselves into our healthy, happy lives before they leave us a hollow empty shadow of our former selves.
When people are being targeted, they initially are NOT feeling weary or concerned by…
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A former mistress (26 years, on-and-off) describes the good, the bad, and the ugly of her long-term affair. Conclusion: Affairs aren't necessarily destructive if kept in the correct perspective. Our experience enhanced BOTH our marriages.
That is, until his marriage ended and we began to love each other. When the affair morphed into a relationship, well, that's when it stopped being fun for me.
For 26 yrs we luxuriated in implicit Trust. When B. cheated on ME, it was the first time another person came into our relationship besides our respective spouses.
We have now irrevocably split.