Does my narcissistic ex. “B.” love his current woman more than me? Kim Saeed, expert in narcissistic personality disorders concludes, Probably not. She’s just new “supply.” A really good read that I’m re-posting from Kim’s blog:
One of the biggest struggles when detaching from an abusive relationship with a Narcissist is the perception that he or she loves their new partner more. In fact, it enhances feelings of low self-esteem in the former victim so drastically, that many never fully recover, regardless of how much therapy they receive.
Why? Because of erroneous thinking that originated during childhood and escalated with the Narcissist’s insidious conditioning which began right after the love-bombing stage and grew increasingly worse during the devalue and discard stages.
What do you mean by erroneous thinking?
When you first met the Narcissist, he or she spent a great deal of time observing you and your thoughts, doubts, insecurities, and weaknesses. They may have mirrored those feelings in an attempt to give you a feeling of closeness and comradery. You finally felt accepted, believing you’d found a partner who would love you unconditionally, until…
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A former mistress (26 years, on-and-off) describes the good, the bad, and the ugly of her long-term affair. Conclusion: Affairs aren't necessarily destructive if kept in the correct perspective. Our experience enhanced BOTH our marriages.
That is, until his marriage ended and we began to love each other. When the affair morphed into a relationship, well, that's when it stopped being fun for me.
For 26 yrs we luxuriated in implicit Trust. When B. cheated on ME, it was the first time another person came into our relationship besides our respective spouses.
We have now irrevocably split.