Menu Home

The Christmas Gift That Keeps On Giving…GRIEF!


The smashed picture and the detritus of our relationship weren’t the only things in the box I’d sent “from Santa” to B. last Christmas. The real plum in that pudding was my journal. Before I started blogging I’d write all my observations and impressions of our long affair in bound journals. It’s true about what writers say of the satisfaction of the scratch of pen upon paper. I don’t get that sensory pleasure from tapping these keys as I did when I was scribbling in my journals.

B. said numerous times he wanted to read them. He wondered aloud what would happen to them if I died. With our relationship irretrievably broken, I thought I had nothing to lose (and nothing to gain, really) by sending along one of two journals I had filled.

I wrapped a ribbon around the latest journal (years 2007 – our parting in October 2013), placed it on top of all the junk I was returning to him, sealed the box and sent it on its merry way.

It arrived on his Michigan doorstep last Christmas Eve. 

UPS Christmas

Arrival time couldn’t have been more perfect. Merry Christmas, asshole. Here’s your shit back.

(I’m not stupid. I’d photocopied the entire journal before sending it off. There was some damned good writing in there that I wanted to keep. Perhaps I’d go back to it someday and reminisce once I’d gotten over the heartache. Or maybe I’d turn it into a book.)

Six months later, B. used the journal against me in court, alleging it was harassment. How could it be harassment when he ASKED for it and it was sent as a gift? (That’s a question my incompetent lawyer never asked him.) He also alleged the box of returned gifts that accompanied the journal was harassment. What lame accusations. It wasn’t harassment or stalking (he also accused me of the latter.) It was just a return of unwanted items, reminders of a dead relationship, that I no longer wanted to own. And my journal was mostly loving and certainly heartfelt, and something he expressly wished to have.

The bastard. 

Now every time we meet in court he uses my journal as a weapon. It’s the gift that keeps on giving……grief, pain, spite, legal woes. He obviously missed all the parts where I wrote I loved him.

Categories: Affair Blogging Break-ups Journal Memories Michigan Relationships

Tagged as:

Exit 4A

A former mistress (26 years, on-and-off) describes the good, the bad, and the ugly of her long-term affair. Conclusion: Affairs aren't necessarily destructive if kept in the correct perspective. Our experience enhanced BOTH our marriages.

That is, until his marriage ended and we began to love each other. When the affair morphed into a relationship, well, that's when it stopped being fun for me. We have now irrevocably split.

Lately I've been writing about the man who took his place in the "off" years of that 26-year-long affair. He was a dynamic sexual partner but we, too, now have irrevocably split.

These are our stories.

3 replies

    1. Happy Holidays, Marty!
      Yeah, it’s unbelievable to me that he would take the writings in that journal and use them against me. He’s tried that three times now, wanting to get the judge to see me as a harasser or a stalker (I am neither). I question now my giving the journal to him as a gift, BUT he did say he wanted to read it. 95% of the writings in there are loving and heartfelt and really explore the affair as it progressed. Should I not have sent it along with the returned items of our broken relationship? What do you think?

      1. Obviously now it’s clear you should not have given him the journal. I would not have, but that’s me. I can see how at the end of a long love affair like you had, the urge to show him how deep your love was would have been almost overwhelming.

Like this? Hate this? I invite your comments:

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: