YES! New Year’s Resolution #1 accomplished: clearing out my kitchen pantry of old foodstuffs!
Looking at the old canned goods I wondered: do relationships — even extramarital affairs spanning decades — have expiration dates?
Maybe our parting was destined to be. Maybe I didn’t take heed of the date stamp on the bottom of our “can,” but it was surely there. No doubt I’d become bored with the sex and was starting to feel less of a connection with B., both in and out of the sack. Our affair had become stale, mired down in all his woes over a long separation, an impending divorce, difficult kids, unemployment, a long-distance move. I was less and less of an empathetic partner. I knew it.
I’d left him emotionally and physically months before our actual parting. And though I didn’t know it at the time, he’d left me, too.
So it’s on to New Year’s Resolution #2: To clear B. out of my mind permanently and as dispassionately as I pitched those old cans, stale nuts, bricks of brown sugar, and quarter-bags of dried beans into my kitchen trash bin. Our affair, and the lingering memories, are long past their use-by date.
A former mistress (26 years, on-and-off) describes the good, the bad, and the ugly of her long-term affair. Conclusion: Affairs aren't necessarily destructive if kept in the correct perspective. Our experience enhanced BOTH our marriages.
That is, until his marriage ended and we began to love each other. When the affair morphed into a relationship, well, that's when it stopped being fun for me.
For 26 yrs we luxuriated in implicit Trust. When B. cheated on ME, it was the first time another person came into our relationship besides our respective spouses.
We have now irrevocably split.