Today, Feb. 11th, marks the one-year anniversary of B.’s wife filing for divorce. I’m always amazed at what you can find on the Internet via a search of public records. Divorce filings (and similar matters) are public in Cook County, IL. I’ll refrain from divulging the case number or last names of the parties involved save to say: it’s super easy to find information on their divorce and read their respective petitions for the dissolution of their 38-year marriage.
Why should I care? I was B.’s mistress for over two-thirds of their marriage (off-and-on) and am a potential witness in their divorce trial. And judging from the long trail of motions and counter-motions, filings and counter-filings over the past year, it appears these two parties can’t agree on much. It looks like this divorce is headed for trial.
I view this through the eyes of one who has been victimized by B.’s narcissistic personality disorder. Those with NPD act haughty, lack empathy for others, and feel the world owes them everything. They devour their prey, eventually devalue them, then discard them. He’s done it to me; he is doing it to his soon-to-be-ex-wife, too. NPDs love to inflame their victims and looking at their lawsuits, that’s exactly what B. is doing to his wife.
What really got me, though, is unemployed, multi-millionaire B. is seeking “fair and reasonable temporary and permanent maintenance” from his wife who is a part-time labor and delivery nurse! And also asking for at least one-half of her pension, retirement, credit union or other employment benefits in addition to a half distribution of all marital property in addition to her paying for his major medical insurance.
But here’s the real narcissistic kicker in B.’s filing: “That the court enjoin (wife) from harassing, molesting or in anyway interfering with the personal liberty of B. (last name) as well as any other members of B. (last name)’s household.”
(He’s so expert at filing personal protection orders, why doesn’t he just get one against the ex?)
Anyway, I thought I’d wish them a very happy anniversary. Knowing B. as I do, I’m not surprised it’s become this contentious.
A former mistress (26 years, on-and-off) describes the good, the bad, and the ugly of her long-term affair. Conclusion: Affairs aren't necessarily destructive if kept in the correct perspective. Our experience enhanced BOTH our marriages.
That is, until his marriage ended and we began to love each other. When the affair morphed into a relationship, well, that's when it stopped being fun for me.
For 26 yrs we luxuriated in implicit Trust. When B. cheated on ME, it was the first time another person came into our relationship besides our respective spouses.
We have now irrevocably split.