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The never-ending question.

Two years past our break-up, I still don’t get it.

Who sends a steak back to a restaurant’s kitchen hoping it returns overdone? Who kicks Charlize Theron out of bed? Who sells a Picasso because it didn’t quite match the living room sofa? You’d have to be insane, really.

So B. must have a screw loose. I’m sexually adventurous, fun, athletic, lithe, and intelligent…and he replaced me with a heavily-graying, ugly, addled old shrew. Readers may recall I’ve run into this woman (with B. in tow) accidentally during a vacation in Michigan. She struck me as someone who is so far inferior to me in so many ways. But she has one thing on me, though:


True, around the time of our break our decades-long affair was fraying around the edges. I was not about to travel the 90 miles to southwest Michigan where B. had permanently relocated just for the occasional hookup, movie date, or dinner….things we enjoyed frequently during our time together, especially after he’d been separated. He sensed I was pulling away. And I was.

The replacement/rebound woman is divorced and probably more willing to make that round-trip from the Chicago suburbs to his Michigan cabin. And I was never going to leave my husband of 25+ years for B. Sure, she’s got the availability. 

But that’s all. She’ll NEVER have the intimacy and longevity I had with B. Ever.

Categories: Affair Affairs Break-ups Infidelity Memories Relationships

Exit 4A

A former mistress (26 years, on-and-off) describes the good, the bad, and the ugly of her long-term affair. Conclusion: Affairs aren't necessarily destructive if kept in the correct perspective. Our experience enhanced BOTH our marriages.

That is, until his marriage ended and we began to love each other. When the affair morphed into a relationship, well, that's when it stopped being fun for me. We have now irrevocably split.

Lately I've been writing about the man who took his place in the "off" years of that 26-year-long affair. He was a dynamic sexual partner but we, too, now have irrevocably split.

These are our stories.

4 replies

  1. Sometimes … incredibly … as unfathomable as it is … it happens. And when it does and the universe does not follow basic logic, great opportunities unfold.

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