I broke up with Boy Toy about this time last year. (Truth told, I broke up with him — or he with me — numerous times over the years.) On one of those breakups, in April 2017, I sent him this email to call it “quits.” I wanted it to […]
Other than her mugshots, here’s the most flattering picture I could post of my ex’s current gal pal, Kooky Girl, with her legs spread in the air like the fat whore she is.
We’ve all done some pretty stupid things when we were kids. But is a 23-year-old woman still a kid? Kooky Girl was working in the gift department of a Saks Fifth Avenue in the affluent Chicago suburb where she was raised when a male friend came in to visit. What […]
Must be nice to have a “Sugar Daddy.” She breaks the law (repeatedly) and he pays the bill. Here he is paying for her most recent transgression, driving on a suspended license owing to a previous DUI: QUESTION: Why do men stay with women who use/abuse them? I’ll tell you […]
I care about him. No, I don’t love him, don’t want him back, don’t want to fuck him, don’t particularly want to ever see him again. But something inside — maybe the on-and-off relationship we’ve had with each other since 2002, its meaning and longevity — still makes me care […]
The day after Thanksgiving I was besieged by texts from Boy Toy’s kooky girlfriend. I honestly don’t know what set the kook off. This one just begged for a response, so I seized the opportunity to describe in great detail the bedroom — their bedroom — in which I fucked her […]
It is November 2006. Halfway through one of our many libidinous iterations. His then-girlfriend/housemate is out-of-town on business, so he invites me to have a Fuck Fest with him in his heated garage on one of his wave runners that has been put away for the winter. I think: This […]
Just found an old card he’d given me not too long ago (I thought I had tossed them all?): And all I could think of was…..
The lease on his rented house expires May 1. I predict that’s when their relationship will expire, too (it’s already pretty icy). He told me that’s the date by which his current gal pal will have to find another place to live. She and all of her shit in plastic […]