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Unfathomable.

Two years past our break-up, I still don’t get it. Who sends a steak back to a restaurant’s kitchen hoping it returns overdone? Who kicks Charlize Theron out of bed? Who sells a Picasso because it didn’t quite match the living room sofa? You’d have to be insane, really. So B. […]

Your Anniversary Present

October 11, 2015. It’s been two years since we broke up on a chilly Friday at your SW Michigan cabin. You kissed me off with the infamous line: “You are such a good girl. You will always be special to me.”  I haven’t contributed to this blog for many months, busying […]

How Does Your Garden Grow?

The summer of 2012 was the third-hottest summer and one of the driest on record in the US. Probably not the best time to plan or plant a new garden, especially one that wouldn’t be tended much. B. occasionally visited his SW Michigan cabin, but wouldn’t move in full-time until […]

Love In Bloom

Blehart

B. loves daffodils and knew I did, too. In spring he’d occasionally surprise me with a bouquet of daffs, or perhaps a single, cheery bloom. The gesture always thrilled me, endeared me to him.  I made and sent him this electronic Valentine’s Day card not long ago. At least I […]

His Loss.

I’ve been thinking about loss. No, not the loss of my love affair with B. — Lord knows I’m over it and writing this blog has been cathartic in moving that process along. Nope, I’ve been thinking instead about HIS loss of me. Or losses I should say. B. lost so much […]

Do Relationships Have Expiration Dates?

YES! New Year’s Resolution #1 accomplished: clearing out my kitchen pantry of old foodstuffs!  Looking at the old canned goods I wondered: do relationships — even extramarital affairs spanning decades — have expiration dates?  Maybe our parting was destined to be. Maybe I didn’t take heed of the date stamp on […]

Erotic Email: Truth Or Dare?

  B.’s email to me dated 12/16/2009, 5:46 am: “In the early morning, I would pull you close, cup your breasts into my hands, slowly run the tips of my fingers across your nipples, nestle my head into your neck, press my cock tight against your ass and blissfully go […]

Pistanthrophobia

Pistanthrophobia. Now there’s a mouthful. It means, “fear of trusting someone.” Stumbled upon the word the other day — can’t remember precisely where I read it — and it’s apparently a thing. It’s even listed in Urban Dictionary, so you know it MUST be real… I was curious about the origin […]

Divorce á Deux

“One of these things is not like the others/Which of these things just doesn’t belong?” My ex-lover was married in August 1975. B. and spouse had four children together. In August 2009 he moved out, began a lengthy separation. The wife filed the divorce papers last February, effectively ending 38 […]

Toxic Triggers, Pt 4: Doggy Style

Note: This is Part 4 of an 11-part series of short posts on what triggers memories of ex-lover B., culminating on October 11, 2014, the First Anniversary of when he kissed me goodbye. Literally. His kiss was a kiss-off. I have not seen him since. TRIGGER #4: Setters B. has […]

Orange Ya Glad It’s Over?

Amazing, the things you remember lovers by… B. had some interesting, even endearing, habits. One was how he’d meticulously peel an orange and eat it. He has done this ever since we first knew each other, back in 1987, at our workplace. We’d eat lunch together (usually amongst co-workers so as […]

Cunt! Bitch! Motherfucker! Prick!

Harsh words, indeed. Words I quite honestly never say, especially that ugly “C” word. It’s so coarse. But on that May morning, in a tiny donut shop in Sawyer, MI, those words spewed from my mouth with vengeance and anger. They seemed apropos. I came face-to-face with B. and his new […]

Meat And Potatoes Sex

In retrospect, the sex was merely average.  He disliked using my toys, preferred naked skin over anything I’d wear from Victoria’s Secret, and had little imagination in the sack. It wasn’t exactly missionary-position-with-lights-out, but it was rather standard fare. In the 20-odd years I was B.’s mistress, ours was meat […]

Classless and Clueless

Straight up now: How would you prefer to end your relationship? Could you handle a face-to-face meeting to break up, or via another method? Anyone remember that “Sex and the City” episode where Berger breaks up with Carrie via a Post-it® note? He sticks the familiar yellow square on her […]