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The Sugar Daddy

Must be nice to have a “Sugar Daddy.” She breaks the law (repeatedly) and he pays the bill.  Here he is paying for her most recent transgression,  driving on a suspended license owing to a previous DUI: QUESTION:  Why do men stay with women who use/abuse them? I’ll tell you […]

Dirty Little Secrets

I care about him. No, I don’t love him, don’t want him back, don’t want to fuck him, don’t particularly want to ever see him again. But something inside — maybe the on-and-off relationship we’ve had with each other since 2002, its meaning and longevity — still makes me care […]

Their Fucking House

The day after Thanksgiving I was besieged by texts from Boy Toy’s kooky girlfriend. I honestly don’t know what set the kook off. This one just begged for a response, so I seized the opportunity to describe in great detail the bedroom — their bedroom — in which I fucked her […]

Sex, Lies and Videotape

It is November 2006. Halfway through one of our many libidinous iterations. His then-girlfriend/housemate is out-of-town on business, so he invites me to have a Fuck Fest with him in his heated garage on one of his wave runners that has been put away for the winter. I think: This […]

BALLS!

It happened a couple of years ago, a crisp autumn day as I recall. We both played hooky from work and took advantage of “Free Admission Day” at Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry (MSI). Seemed like a good opportunity to interject some much-lacking culture into our relationship. (I don’t […]

Find A Gym! PRONTO!

She calls me “ugly/whore/cunt” on her social media and in texts to me. So this post is expressly for her: My husband said you were “fat” but geez, Pudge, you are the walking definition of “Wide Load!” Quit blaming your thyroid, get to a gym, and DO SOME REAL WORK […]

The Ambush

Just after Thanksgiving, as the world was slipping into the season of giving, my ex-boyfriend and his current gal pal decided they would give my husband a “present:” they would try to break up my marriage by telling him about our affair. Except he left her to do the dirty work, lingering […]

Garbage In. Garbage Out.

He never quite “got it,” that being another man’s wife meant I couldn’t bring home those over-the-top sentimental cards, letters, bouquets of flowers, small gifts and trinkets he’d give me during our libidinous get-togethers. I thanked him for all the gestures knowing deep down their lifespan was measured.   Being […]