I wore skin-tight denim jeans with bright cherry-red ribbons snaking down each leg. A semi-shear red blouse with no bra. Long, dangling diamond earrings. And scarlet strappy stilettos punctuated with crystals. Hot, hot, HOT. I’d always wanted to go to a strip club but my husband refused. So in 2006, […]
I broke up with Boy Toy about this time last year. (Truth told, I broke up with him — or he with me — numerous times over the years.) On one of those breakups, in April 2017, I sent him this email to call it “quits.” I wanted it to […]
Ever have someone do something nice for you, but you felt like they’d gone “over the top?” It’s February 12, 2016 and Boy Toy invites me over to his apartment to celebrate both my birthday and Valentine’s Day since they are just a day apart. I shower, perfume myself, and […]
Other than her mugshots, here’s the most flattering picture I could post of my ex’s current gal pal, Kooky Girl, with her legs spread in the air like the fat whore she is.
One year ago today, August 23, 2017, was the last time I fucked Boy Toy. And it will be the final time. No more — EVER. We went out with a whimper, not our usual “bang.” This is the way I’d marked it on my 2017 calendar: I remember the […]
Must be nice to have a “Sugar Daddy.” She breaks the law (repeatedly) and he pays the bill. Here he is paying for her most recent transgression, driving on a suspended license owing to a previous DUI: QUESTION: Why do men stay with women who use/abuse them? I’ll tell you […]
I care about him. No, I don’t love him, don’t want him back, don’t want to fuck him, don’t particularly want to ever see him again. But something inside — maybe the on-and-off relationship we’ve had with each other since 2002, its meaning and longevity — still makes me care […]
The day after Thanksgiving I was besieged by texts from Boy Toy’s kooky girlfriend. I honestly don’t know what set the kook off. This one just begged for a response, so I seized the opportunity to describe in great detail the bedroom — their bedroom — in which I fucked her […]
It is November 2006. Halfway through one of our many libidinous iterations. His then-girlfriend/housemate is out-of-town on business, so he invites me to have a Fuck Fest with him in his heated garage on one of his wave runners that has been put away for the winter. I think: This […]
It happened a couple of years ago, a crisp autumn day as I recall. We both played hooky from work and took advantage of “Free Admission Day” at Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry (MSI). Seemed like a good opportunity to interject some much-lacking culture into our relationship. (I don’t […]
Just found an old card he’d given me not too long ago (I thought I had tossed them all?): And all I could think of was…..
The lease on his rented house expires May 1. I predict that’s when their relationship will expire, too (it’s already pretty icy). He told me that’s the date by which his current gal pal will have to find another place to live. She and all of her shit in plastic […]
She calls me “ugly/whore/cunt” on her social media and in texts to me. So this post is expressly for her: My husband said you were “fat” but geez, Pudge, you are the walking definition of “Wide Load!” Quit blaming your thyroid, get to a gym, and DO SOME REAL WORK […]
Just after Thanksgiving, as the world was slipping into the season of giving, my ex-boyfriend and his current gal pal decided they would give my husband a “present:” they would try to break up my marriage by telling him about our affair. Except he left her to do the dirty work, lingering […]
He never quite “got it,” that being another man’s wife meant I couldn’t bring home those over-the-top sentimental cards, letters, bouquets of flowers, small gifts and trinkets he’d give me during our libidinous get-togethers. I thanked him for all the gestures knowing deep down their lifespan was measured. Being […]