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Square Peg, Round Hole

Dear Ex-Lover: You can’t force compatibility. In all our iterations, we ignored the fact that we simply aren’t right for each other. All we have in common is an obsession with hot sex (preferably with one another). In all other ways we are fundamentally different, and for years I turned […]

Nice Try

Instead of inciting an argument or tearing into our marriage, Steve and I enjoyed a pleasant dinner out during which he told me he found Karin to be “quite disturbed.” Nice try, but our marriage is ROCK SOLID.


Today is January 2. And 2 is on my mind. It’s been quite a while since I posted anything substantial on this blog, and with good reason: my literary energy has been spent writing sample chapters of the “Exit 4A” book for my agent and for prospective publishers. My agent […]

Irreconcilable Differences

After 38 years of marriage, 4 children, a 5-year separation, and 17 months of bitter legal wrangling, my ex-lover’s divorce went through on July 8. Yes, B. is now a free man. As Illinois is a “no fault divorce” state, the reason given for the dissolution of marriage was “Irreconcilable […]


Happy Fourth of July! I get a sense they’re not together anymore. B. didn’t show up for moral (or legal) support the last two times she tried to dust me in Court (which I won). He missed the fireworks, though, as the woman who replaced me came off as an […]

#ThrowbackThursday: Today’s My Birthday!

An email of positively “explosive,” “over-the-top” birthday wishes from B. to me back in 2009: And how he “evolved” a couple of years later: Or DID he evolve? He never was demonstrative with words or deed. He never got comfortable saying the words, “I love you,” and that simple declaration would […]

Silent Running – This Blog Lives On!

“Silent running” is the term used when submarines go quiet, when nonessential functions are cut to minimize noise, when the crew is told to keep movement to a bare minimum so as to evade detection while submerged. I’ve been “silently running” these past few weeks…sitting quietly with my hands in my […]

Classless and Clueless

Straight up now: How would you prefer to end your relationship? Could you handle a face-to-face meeting to break up, or via another method? Anyone remember that “Sex and the City” episode where Berger breaks up with Carrie via a Post-it® note? He sticks the familiar yellow square on her […]


Eight thousand, eight hundred and fifty-three emails exchanged between B. and myself 2002-2013. (And a handful kept from the late 1990s.)  And that’s just the Incoming emails from B. I have spent the weekend organizing my old AOL account’s emails, putting each email into a specific year’s folder. Of course, I […]


AWESOME work for a guy whose only legal experience consists of putting words in Congress members’ mouths. I’m sure the UMN debate team would be SOOO proud! All you did was beat up a girl(friend) today. Sleep well, big man…

Dog Day Afternoon

It’s July 2005. We’re in a room at the Renaissance Hotel, splayed naked next to each other after another good, sweaty romp. B. reaches across my body and grabs his small metal pot pipe from the nightstand and begins to toke up. He was (still is) a heavy weed user. […]

The Good (Office) Wife

Blehart Office Wife

It started, as many affairs do, at work, way back in 1987. Interestingly, it was his boss I was trying to reel in: a quick-witted, erudite, sharp minded, well-respected, kinda-on-the-nerdy-side guy. Just my type! But despite all attempts, Mr. Boss Man professed love and allegiance to his wife, and even a kiss […]