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Classless and Clueless

Straight up now: How would you prefer to end your relationship? Could you handle a face-to-face meeting to break up, or via another method? Anyone remember that “Sex and the City” episode where Berger breaks up with Carrie via a Post-it® note? He sticks the familiar yellow square on her […]

Independence Day

Last Independence Day (2013) I was recuperating from back surgery in B.’s Michigan cabin. Circumstances, and a child on the premises, dampened my ardor. It would be the last time I’d visit there as part of a committed relationship with him. I still don’t recall the last time B. and […]

Our Bitchin’ Beach Bench

Gillson Park Dog Beach I’m sure Ms. Goldblatt would blush if she knew what B. and I did on “her” bench. One autumn night several years ago I drove the 30-odd miles from my home to a beach less than a half-mile from B.’s. “I need to decompress,” he told […]

8,853

Eight thousand, eight hundred and fifty-three emails exchanged between B. and myself 2002-2013. (And a handful kept from the late 1990s.)  And that’s just the Incoming emails from B. I have spent the weekend organizing my old AOL account’s emails, putting each email into a specific year’s folder. Of course, I […]

Big Me, Little You: Loving A Narcissist

Blehart

  Excuse me while I bore you for a bit with this text-heavy clinical definition of narcissistic personality disorder (comes straight from everyone’s favorite nightstand book, the DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, revised 2013). Do you see yourself or someone you love — or have loved — […]

CONGRATS B.!

AWESOME work for a guy whose only legal experience consists of putting words in Congress members’ mouths. I’m sure the UMN debate team would be SOOO proud! All you did was beat up a girl(friend) today. Sleep well, big man…

Heavy Lifting

I was the one who held his tie out of the stream of vomit as he bent over a parking lot trash can, so upset was he at the realization that his 38 years of marriage were coming to an end. I was the one who lent him dishes, lamps, […]

Holy Smokes! Three Oaks?

I read somewhere it’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and maybe I should have my head examined. I’m spending Memorial Day weekend near Three Oaks, Michigan, where B. makes his home. Spending the long holiday weekend with my husband in the land of my ex-lover. We’ve rented a beautiful cottage less than a […]

Dog Day Afternoon

It’s July 2005. We’re in a room at the Renaissance Hotel, splayed naked next to each other after another good, sweaty romp. B. reaches across my body and grabs his small metal pot pipe from the nightstand and begins to toke up. He was (still is) a heavy weed user. […]

The Good (Office) Wife

Blehart Office Wife

It started, as many affairs do, at work, way back in 1987. Interestingly, it was his boss I was trying to reel in: a quick-witted, erudite, sharp minded, well-respected, kinda-on-the-nerdy-side guy. Just my type! But despite all attempts, Mr. Boss Man professed love and allegiance to his wife, and even a kiss […]

The Kids Are(n’t) Alright

I call the “Sunday Styles” section of the New York Times the “Women’s Sports Section.” I love reading about the weddings and believe I could turn tales of my affair with B. into one of its “Modern Love” essays. But the above clip appeared in the “Social Q’s” column on […]