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How Does Your Garden Grow?

The summer of 2012 was the third-hottest summer and one of the driest on record in the US. Probably not the best time to plan or plant a new garden, especially one that wouldn’t be tended much. B. occasionally visited his SW Michigan cabin, but wouldn’t move in full-time until […]

Our Bitchin’ Beach Bench

Gillson Park Dog Beach I’m sure Ms. Goldblatt would blush if she knew what B. and I did on “her” bench. One autumn night several years ago I drove the 30-odd miles from my home to a beach less than a half-mile from B.’s. “I need to decompress,” he told […]

He Loves Me. He Loves Me…Not?

An affair that spanned 26 years (off-and-on). And when it was on, he just could never bring himself to say those three little words.  Instead, it was couched in words like these…on Valentine’s Day, seven years ago: Is this just bad boyfriend behavior? Or someone who really, truly had no love […]

Love In Bloom

Blehart

B. loves daffodils and knew I did, too. In spring he’d occasionally surprise me with a bouquet of daffs, or perhaps a single, cheery bloom. The gesture always thrilled me, endeared me to him.  I made and sent him this electronic Valentine’s Day card not long ago. At least I […]

His Loss.

I’ve been thinking about loss. No, not the loss of my love affair with B. — Lord knows I’m over it and writing this blog has been cathartic in moving that process along. Nope, I’ve been thinking instead about HIS loss of me. Or losses I should say. B. lost so much […]

Do Relationships Have Expiration Dates?

YES! New Year’s Resolution #1 accomplished: clearing out my kitchen pantry of old foodstuffs!  Looking at the old canned goods I wondered: do relationships — even extramarital affairs spanning decades — have expiration dates?  Maybe our parting was destined to be. Maybe I didn’t take heed of the date stamp on […]

Divorce á Deux

“One of these things is not like the others/Which of these things just doesn’t belong?” My ex-lover was married in August 1975. B. and spouse had four children together. In August 2009 he moved out, began a lengthy separation. The wife filed the divorce papers last February, effectively ending 38 […]

Toxic Triggers, Pt 8: Su-Su-Subaru

Note: This is Part 8 of an 11-part series of short posts on what triggers memories of ex-lover B., culminating on October 11, 2014, the First Anniversary of when he kissed me goodbye. Literally. His kiss was a kiss-off. I have not seen him since. TRIGGER #8: Subaru Outback White […]

Holy Smokes! Three Oaks?

I read somewhere it’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and maybe I should have my head examined. I’m spending Memorial Day weekend near Three Oaks, Michigan, where B. makes his home. Spending the long holiday weekend with my husband in the land of my ex-lover. We’ve rented a beautiful cottage less than a […]

Dog Day Afternoon

It’s July 2005. We’re in a room at the Renaissance Hotel, splayed naked next to each other after another good, sweaty romp. B. reaches across my body and grabs his small metal pot pipe from the nightstand and begins to toke up. He was (still is) a heavy weed user. […]

The Good (Office) Wife

Blehart Office Wife

It started, as many affairs do, at work, way back in 1987. Interestingly, it was his boss I was trying to reel in: a quick-witted, erudite, sharp minded, well-respected, kinda-on-the-nerdy-side guy. Just my type! But despite all attempts, Mr. Boss Man professed love and allegiance to his wife, and even a kiss […]

The Kids Are(n’t) Alright

I call the “Sunday Styles” section of the New York Times the “Women’s Sports Section.” I love reading about the weddings and believe I could turn tales of my affair with B. into one of its “Modern Love” essays. But the above clip appeared in the “Social Q’s” column on […]